It’s been a while since I last wrote something that comes from my heart. I wasn’t in Pakistan my entire life so it came to me as a shock when I attended the first wedding here. There are two things that are of highest importance: 1) how grand the wedding ceremonies are. 2) How much parental property is girl bringing with her on the wedding?
Almost 80% of gossips revolve around these two topics. Being a Muslim, do you once pause and wonder if this is how wedding suppose to be?
On the other hand, you will be shushed if you talk about mehr which is a condition that girl can put in before getting in nikkah. It’s so personal that it has to be between the girl and the guy yet the guy’s side of family normally set it.
It’s an ignored reality that getting married is a burden for girl’s parents, maybe that’s why they pray to have a son instead. My blog is targeted at those upper/upper-middle-class people who can end this madness instead of showing off by increasing the bar for poor ones. I am very proud of my parents that they didn’t care a bit what relatives were saying when they announced that neither they will give dowry for their three daughters, nor they will accept it for their son. It isn’t something that happens overnight. When I realised that my worth will be deduced through the furniture I bring, I told my husband to be that I will bring no such thing. Girls need to say this out loud too and so does parents. If we will keep following blindly, all the in the name of customs and traditions “Aisa karna hota hai” then we are making an absurd mistake for our future generations.
Think about it. A poor father saves money all his life to bring forward dowry for his two daughters. The money that could’ve been used to give proper education to them so that they can be self-sufficient in future. Poor ones only suffer so instead of saying those who can afford to should do it, think about the pressure that builds up for the families who can’t afford to indulge in such luxuries. Yet they have to because they love their daughters as much as you do.
In the end, I am glad that Orient raised a point which was ignored even in marketing campaigns. It’s time to challenge such bizarre and anomalous conditions and question what is our priority as a Muslim or as a human.